For the Guys: Thanks for Being Awesome
Guys, I'm not a man. I'm a woman. I'm not gonna rant to you about what you should be, or give you another list of what Christian women look for, or remind you of your role as a leader and try to explain what that looks like.
I just want to give you a break.
From the outside looking in, it seems really hard to be a man. Crazy fun a lot of the time, but also crazy hard.
You're expected to be breadwinners and rake in the cash.
Have muscles.
Understand your place in the universe PERFECTLY so you can lead others who don't.
Be super strong, sensitive, and supportive when wives or girlfriends freak out and suddenly can't do anything but binge eat and cry.
Be PERFECTLY self-controlled.
Never leave your wife, children, or girlfriends wanting for possessions, love, or opportunities.
Have a PERFECT spiritual life and love for God.
Never, ever make mistakes.
And on top of that, you're expected to love and respect women who don't understand how hard it is to be a man.
I could never, EVER be a man. But I wonder if a lot of men or up-and-comings feel that way too.
Well, here is the break that I and so many other Christian women want to give you: we understand that you are not Jesus.
Jesus was the manliest man who ever lived. Honestly, as a Christian dude, I would read that and think, "Oh CRAP I have to live up to THAT and model THAT?! I'm out." Before you jump ship, go back to covering up hurt feelings, and believe that you're a failure...think about it this way...
First, women who thrust Jesus' perfection onto your shoulders are just mean. Mean, insecure, and unforgiving. We can even go so far as to shove Bible verses in your face about what you should be then stomp out of the room feeling hurt, let down, and cheated but giving no heed to the damage that we just inflicted. Where you need respect, we make fun of you, where you need grace, we are merciless, where you need encouragement, we heap disappointment.
This is not ok. And I'm amazed at how patient you all are. Thanks for being awesome.
Second, because Jesus was the manliest man who ever lived...you're free to struggle. You're free to struggle and experience blessing when people come along who realize that respect, grace, and encouragement make a man...not your fulfillment of demanding (and frankly unreachable) expectations.
That is what I hope you can accept. Yet I'm amazed at how hard you all work. Thanks for being awesome.
Even if you didn't want that break, even if you joy in being hard on yourself and your friends, even if you really do sometimes need a good chewing out and kick in the shin to snap out of your pity party...I think you know full well that when things get real, you need more than a "suck it up" or "rub some dirt on it and get back out there."
But just keep in mind: even though there are some heavy demands...and some of them Biblical...there are many people out there who understand that you're not Jesus. Who understand when you fall. Who rejoice in the opportunity to encourage you towards your goals. And who already look up to you and think, "Whoa. He's awesome."