God's Favorite and Clearest Comfort

I find myself these days debating the existence of chance and the existence of sovereignty.

(#2oyearoldthoughts??)

Usually, I hear this debate in Christian circles: God's sovereignty vs. human free will.

But I've been thinking about sovereignty vs. chance, coincidence.

Can it exist if a sovereign God exists?

As I write this the answer seems clear: chance and a sovereign God cannot coexist.

But I get muddled when it comes to questions like:

Why did I get cast in Pride&Prejudice? My talent and look just happened to snag me the part or God delights in watching me perform?

Why did MacCracken hire a new RA I can be good friends with? Just because that's how it went or because God wanted to alleviate my loneliness?

Why do I only have one class on Mondays and none on Fridays? Because I used my brain to plan it that way or because God knew I would need extra rest this semester?

To me, it makes me love Jesus so much more to think about Him orchestrating every tiny thing in my life. Even when it's time for my pedicure to wear out.

The kicker is once I've chosen to deny the existence of chance, I can't believe that hardships in my life are chance or just "what happens" in consequence to sin or a broken world.

Each one has been specifically placed, timed, and understood by God.

Chance makes it easier to blow off trials. It gives me an excuse not to dive headlong into it to find Jesus.

"Bad things happen. Move on."

But because of sovereignty, God beckons me into darkness and promises to hold my hand.

"Bad things happen. Time to do some soul searching."

I've found that the deeper I've climbed into a trial--the more persistent I've been to usher God's light into it--the more I realize it's not about ending the trial.

It's never been about ending up on the other side. It's always about ending up a step closer to Jesus' side.

Even if the trial isn't over.

If Jesus is standing in the middle of the storm, that's where I'm headed.

And I think these truths are the reason we can say that Jesus' favorite way of comforting us is by reminding us that He is the I AM.

I'll explain.

Admittedly, I've hated that name of Christ.

"It's like not even proper English grammer to say He is the I AM..."

I've never understood that name before.

Three stories from the Old and New Testament help us understand the comfort that His name I AM is.

Moses and the burning bush

Peter walking on water

And the woman caught in adultery

In Exodus 3:11-14, Moses is trying to understand why God chose him to rescue the Israelites from Pharaoh's tyrany.

Moses says, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and that I should bring the children of Israel out of Egypt?"

God's answer is awesome. He pulls the spotlight off of Moses altogether and says, "I will certainly be with you."

Moses seems to surrender to the task a little more after He has been comforted that God will be with him because he then asks, "What shall I say to them [the Israelites] when they ask about You? Who You are? If I say 'The God of your father's has sent me' what name shall I give them?"

And God says, "I AM WHO I AM. I AM has sent me to you."

You still might be thinking, ok what still not proper grammer or like logical...

But think about it this way...

The Israelites would've known all the stories about I AM from generations past.

Stories of His might, promises, and presence with the Israelite people.

But it had been 400 years of slavery. Those whose faith had been sight with God's awesome works and fulfilled promises were long gone.

So how gracious of God to launch Himself back into their present with the name I AM.

"That God of 400 years ago...I AM."

There's such hope in that name. I AM. Such presence. Such intimacy and power. All of which is still available to us today.

Jump ahead to Matthew 14:25-33, Jesus walks on water amidst a storm and Peter scrambles out to Him.

But listen to what Jesus says to the disciples before Peter makes his move.

"And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled saying, 'It's a ghost!' And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, "Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.'"

Do not be afraid, the I AM is here.

Peter wants proof so he asks to be called out onto the water and to walk across it. Jesus agrees and calls him.

Famously, Peter sinks when he takes his eyes off of Jesus and cries out, "Lord, save me!"

He wants so much to believe Jesus--the I AM--is there and now has no choice to declare Him LORD as he is sinking.

I love Jesus' response, "And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, 'O you of little faith, why did you doubt?'"

Peter, why did you doubt it was me? The I AM?

"Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him saying, "Truly You are the Son of God."

Truly You are the I AM.

What compassion is in that name. One who immediately catches us and reassures us. One who has control over the temperment of the waves. One who the sight of Him causes bravery and peace and joy in the beholder. I AM's very presence envokes love and worship.

I AM is a rescuer. Then and now.

The last story is the most tender for me.

In John 8:1-11, the story of a woman dragged from the sin-filled bed into the presence of the Most High without even a moment to say goodbye to her lover.

I've always wondered about this woman. How she reacted.

Did she stand unabashedly with hands on hips in front of the crowd?

Slump to the ground in embarrassment?

Fight off the Pharisees?

Spit at Jesus?

Try to run away?

Move closer or further from the stones that were about to be cast on her naked body?

What was her name?

Whatever her stance, what did she do when she heard Jesus say, "Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone."?

I'm sure she watched everyone leave.

Until "Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with this woman."

Other translations say, "And Jesus looked up and only saw the woman."

"I've only got eyes for you dear one."

"Where are your accusers? Has no one condemned you?"

I'm sure she is crying at this point. As a woman myself caught in shame, the idea of rescue in the face of certain condemnation is overwhelming.

Does Jesus hug her or catch her as she says, "No one, Lord."

Lord.

"Neither do I condemn you. Go and sin no more."

It's quite a different comfort to say, "Your faith has made you well" or "You have chosen what is higher" than "I, Myself, in all my glory and perfection, free you."

The comfort is always in the person.

The I AM.

Lovers comfort one another with, "It's ok I'm right here."

Parents coddle their children with, "I'm not going anywhere."

Friends reassure other friends saying, "I'll be right there don't worry!"

It never matters what happens it just matters who is there.

I love that Jesus comforts with His name...I AM.

I AM here.

I AM your Lover.

I AM your shield.

I AM your strength.

I AM your savior.

I AM your foundation.

I AM your peace.

I AM your friend.

I AM your everlasting hope.

I AM.

And all He wants from us is to say, "Here I am Lord."

"Here. Come here to me I AM."

In the fullness of who You are, dwell in me, empty me and flood me with Your Spirit.

Thank You that You're a God who comforts with Himself. Nothing left.

Give us faith to trust in your name and all the goodness that You are.