What the Spirit Feels Like and How to Believe He is Actually a Thing
The more I learn about the Holy Spirit and how believers react to/feel about Him, the more I'm convinced that the first barrier to His power isn't not knowing what He feels like, but not believing that we have access to His dramatic power.
Once we believe that He is offered us--in fact, that He is living within us--then we can begin asking Him what He feels like and what it means to be led by Him.
It doesn't make sense for us to ask for His power and question if we feel Him if we don't credit Him a powerful existence.
As I started out writing this post, it quickly became a comment on the place of the Bible and the Spirit in the believer's life...but that's not what I'm going to tackle here now. Taking a different course.
I just want to help us believe that the Spirit's power is real and available and also to give some pointers on what He feels like.
I want to start here: the Jesus I know was once a full-fledged man. The most whole human to ever walk the earth. And He is just as alive, daring, intimate, and compassionate today as He was thousands of years ago.
Real talk: if we let our souls speak for two seconds and listen to whatever comes out, I'm sure a deep-felt desire in every believer wells up to have more of that human Jesus (if we have the right view of Him).
Playful.
Confident.
Kind.
Immoveable.
Probably has a great laugh.
A King who can empathize with the sufferings of His people.
Bold.
Daring.
Compassionate.
More real talk: sometimes I get tired of the Bible. I have a longing to meet Jesus in the flesh. I can get very tired of what can seem like a "long distance relationship" with nothing but a really long letter (the Bible) to get me through. I don't think this is a unique feeling friends...
I'm not demeaning the importance and holiness and goodness of the Bible for our lives on earth, I just want to validate the deep, eternal desire we all have for Jesus' person.
(Think about it, there probably won't be Bibles in Heaven...we will be with the One which the Bible is about...playing firsbee with Him and talking about life over coffee with Him and Moses...I'm not about to read my Bible in Heaven...)
I encourage you to just let that desire wash over you. Maybe realize it for the first time. How frustrating the long distance relationship is that we feel like we have with Him.
If you journal, it sometimes just feels like we're pen pals with God. Lame.
He knows we know it's lame.
That's why He came down to us. So we could be with Him in the flesh one day.
That's also why He gave us His Spirit during this intermittent time.
John 14:16, "And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever--the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him; but you know Him, for He dwells with you and I will be in you. I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you."
(read around that passage too...Jesus is so kind and intimate)
Such a packed passage, but basically, Jesus didn't ascend into Heaven and toss down an I.O.U in the form of a Bible.
He sent His Spirit to dwell within us.
Suddenly our relationship with Him doesn't seem so long-distance once we allow that truth to take root.
The Spirit of the human-est human ever is inside of us. Why? He didn't want to leave us as orphans. He wanted to come to us. He wanted to abide with us as closely as He could this side of Heaven.
What an expression of His intimacy with us is His Spirit; of His desire to just be with us and for us to want Him back. The Spirit is His seal and promise that we are His.
As we move into "OK what does the Spirit feel like and how can I follow Him" questions, we cannot forget that the Spirit is first and foremost a comfort and a helper and secondly a compass and fuel.
If you just want to know about the Spirit to know what to do with your life, you're missing the awesome point of King Jesus literally pouring Himself into you because He loves you. Soak that in for a bit. Slash for your whole life.
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In my experience, we get confused about listening to the Spirit because we use words/language like "listen," "hear," "God said," "He moved me" to explain how He feels. Very visceral and physical things. And so we watch for these things.
But think of it this way, it's a position of the heart and mind. It's an undeniable urging that is consistent and grows. It's 5 conversations about the same thing in one day. It's where your mind is when you find your heart racing. It's hearing the hearts of others are in the same place as yours and a confidence even if their hearts aren't.
Basically, you know the Spirit is moving you towards something when thoughts or feelings about something are extremely persistent and are informed by the Word as holy (of God).
It's that thought or feeling that you consider giving your attention but cut it off instead.
I think we've all felt something like that at one point or another in our lives but haven't attributed it to the Spirit.
Well it is the Spirit. Those thoughts and feelings are blessed and holy.
Pretty simple. And we feel Him more often than we let ourselves believe.
How much adventure and intimacy we miss.
General examples:
1. The Spirit won't lead you to have pre-marital sex though everything in you thinks it's so right.
Not holy (not of the Spirit)
2. The Spirit will lead you to pray for someone spontaneously or even to apply for a certain internship.
Holy (of the Spirit)
Personal examples:
1. I've had so much grief over the bondage of Miami students and the lifelessness of Christians here. It was a thought and feeling that wouldn't leave for months.
It drew me to prayer and moved me to action.
Coming back to campus I was talking about these thoughts and feelings with another and the newfound desire of worship I had to combat this tragedy.
Soon we were both freaking out over our coffee because she had the same feelings and ideas as me.
More friends got involved.
Now we are creating a huge worship night, an outreach, and women's events to usher in freedom.
Spirit led. God is glorified and people will come to love Him so much more deeply.
2. I've heard so many aching hearts wanting to believe in the truth and solidity of the Bible and what Jesus offers but doubts were overtaking them and stealing their joy.
This sadness drew me to prayer and action.
A director of Cru commissioned Cru-Outreach to host another Cru staff woman to speak on the apologetics of the validity of the Bible and God's existence. She will share her story "From Atheist to Christian" in March.
Spirit led. God is glorified and people will come to love Him do much more deeply.
3. Example: I've felt for so long that I wasn't where I belonged. (Super ethereal I know...)
I thought about transferring, dropping out of college, doing missions ASAP...
This restlessness drew me to prayer and action.
I communicated my distress to others and received their invites to new prayer groups, churches, worship sessions...and I'm finding a whole new community that I'm so exicted about.
Spirit led. God is glorified and I'm so much more in love with Him.
It's real folks. We just need the bravery to act and the belief in His reality.
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God obviously has me doing a lot of ministry things this semester: events and pouring into some freshmen girls...I love it. It's given me a hunger for worship (excuse my pathetic guitar playing in the next room) and a boldness and expectation in prayer.
But, like I said earlier, it's never really about what the Spirit will have us do, it's all about how He is changing our relationship with Christ.
The movement of the Spirit always involved prayer, action, the glorification of God, and an increased love for Jesus.
Upon rereading some journals, I noticed that the tone of my prayers resemebled that of a combative or frustrated sister.
I heard God pleading with me for my affection.
"Don't you see My love for you daughter? Will you not speak tenderly with the one who calls you beloved?"
That got me.
"Of course I'll receive Your love for me, Jesus. Of course I'll turn my affections towards You. How could I not? Where shall I go but Your arms?"
I find that the Spirit's primary desire is to help us swim in God's graces and love for us before He sends us out on mission.
Far be it from me to start my day offering to Jesus before I receive what He has for me: mercy, love, beauty, gentleness, adventure, sanctification, relationship...
Only help me to receive, dear Jesus.
It's been pretty clear to me how the Spirit is working in my life...feel free to believe and ask what He has for you in this season of your life.
And listen to what bothers you. It'll only grow.
*Regina Spektor lyrics from The Call :
"It started out as a feeling which then grew into a hope.
Which then grew into a quiet thought which then turned into a quiet word.
And then that word grew louder and louder 'till it was a battle cry."
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*side note*
John Piper has a great podcast on "Ask Pastor John" about God's will for our life. It gives great indicators for if the Spirit is moving within us about something specific (career, spouse, conversations, major...etc.)