It's Only Pain

This past week, it's been difficult to run even a quarter of a mile straight.

Yes, I am supposed to be running 27 straight on June 18th.

It's that point in training where I've maxed out.

My legs have no energy and my muscles seem to turn to jello at the thought of running one more time.

Yet, it's not the physical pain that's so disheartening, it's feeling like I'm back at square one.

I called my dad on the phone the other night, "It feels like I haven't run in 6 months and am starting all over."

When in fact I've been in the distance running game for years and have had the most consistent training in the past 6 months.

It's only pain.

I've found myself repeating that mantra to myself as I climb hills, try for one more crunch, and say no to activities with friends because of training.

It's only pain.

Pain is a reason for people who let it be a reason.

Usually a reason to quit.

And I have to decide if I will let myself join the masses who cry "It's all too hard!" or to join the tired and victorious who know the feeling of a dream realized.

Pain--physical, emotional, mental pain--will not be the deciding factor for me.

My dad always tells me to "never make a decision running uphill." I think he knows that pain, not desire, will be talking then. And pain is a horrible advisor.

I'm not talking about the kind of pain experienced if you find yourself in a genuinely unhealthy place with little to no purpose.

I'm talking about the kind of pain that's a given along the journey towards your goal.

The kind of risk you have to take to move forward.

The moments when you have to let the glory of the future overshadow the pain of the present.

If we succumb to that pain, maybe the dream didn't mean as much to us as we thought.

Or maybe we just didn't give enough of ourselves to it to begin with.

It's only pain. Let your dream snuff it out.

It's only pain. Don't let it decide.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat."

~ T. Roosevelt