How to be (the right kind of) Tired in College

It's something I'm really over. I don't want to respond to anymore, "How are yous" with "tired" Because, I don't want to be tired anymore. At least not just regular old tired. While I'm a firm believer that 90% to 100% of our quality of life is determined by how we choose to see things, I'm also a firm believer in not making things harder than they need to be. If I'm tired, I want it to be because I've worked really hard to put life-giving things in my path and to see everything else as best as I can.

I find myself returning to Matt Chandler, the head teaching pastor of the Village church in TX, for his wisdom and the compassion he carries with him as he speaks.

Through my laptop screen, Chandler is cycling through the events of his day and making a point that despite their fullness and his exhaustion, he goes home to love his family well; the way a man should. Prayer meetings, distress calls, paperwork, and finding time to hear from the Lord leave him not only physically exhausted, but emotionally drained as well.

What he says next has been a mantra of mine for months now.

"I lay in bed at night, happily tired. Happily tired for the Lord."

What kind of tired am I most days? Why? What things during the day have I given myself to that suck my life more than give me life? What do I fail to see in the best light? What does the Lord think of my choices and day?

I don't want to be anxious and tired.

I don't want to be depressed and tired.

I don't want to be a workaholic and tired.

I don't want to be lack of sleep tired.

I don't want to be Miss. Planner tired.

I don't want to be perfectionistic and tired

I just want to be happily tired. The kind of tired that is actually pleasant to go to. It's the way you respond when you've given to the world and the world has given back in balance. It's the contentment that the Lord longs for us to have. He looks at our days and does not judge, but fills us as we walk in our talents and desires.

We end up content and tired.

Nothing more to give and tired.

Settled and tired.

Grateful and tired.

Happily tired.

I just wanted to share a few little things I've been doing so I can end my day happily tired.

1. See things in the best light, choose what gives life

We can't get around things we don't want to do. They will always be in our path. We know this. But sometimes we forget that how we feel about what we don't want doesn't have to rule us.

We always have a choice in how we see and react to all things in our path, even the bad things.

If you're in that Gen Ed class with 100 other students, you can choose how you respond. Note that this experience isn't life-giving, but practice patience. And patience is life-giving.

Before you let your mind tell you the story of how life is so unfair and so hard to rise above, shut it up because that story saps your strength. I'm not asking for unwarranted optimism...because optimism is never unwarranted. We get so caught up in being precise and accurate about what will definitely and definitely not happen in our futures that we quickly lose sight of the importance of optimism.

Optimism isn't the naive claim of some happy certainty, it's what gives us the strength to walk the uncertainty.

And if you're uncomfortable with the word or "lifestyle" of optimism, remember the Lord says not to fear because He loves us and knows exactly what we need. And that's enough of a reason for me to see all things in the best light and to hope for the best in all things.

Choosing to trust the Lord, choosing to let hope provide strength, is life-giving. It's essential, it's the truth, it's what makes us thrive rather than survive.

2. No regrets

It's been a habit of mine for years to never regret things. Even mistakes. Regret sucks life. And if it isn't life-giving it isn't worth my time and energy. If I spend my day regretting things from the past month, year, or minute, I'm taking life from myself. And at the end of the day, I end up feeling down on myself and tired. I hate that kind of tired.

Instead I choose to learn, repent, receive love and forgiveness, and move forward.

I choose to let my mistakes inform me about what takes life from me and what things give life. Sometimes, my regret can start out as small as, "Shoot, I should have spent time with my friend instead of napping." What have I learned? My friends give me more life than naps sometimes. I'll listen to that in the future.

I choose to abide in thoughts that are life-giving. In place of regret there is repentance, in the place of worry there is trust, and in the place of expectations there is excitement.

3. Reading

Seriously. It's something physical that keeps my thought life positive and life-giving. I read about other people's lives to remember there are more worlds and stories happening than mine. It keeps me curious, it gives me hope, and it fascinates me. I walk out the door and wonder who and what is around me instead of focusing on how am I ever going to make it through today.

And that element of getting outside of myself is probably the most important point of living happily tired.

I do whatever helps me rise out of my own self and world and into community.

The Great Conversations

The Lord

my friends

the strangers who are really just fascinating humans too

4. Community

Community is the most life-giving thing. It's just fact. And it also looks different from person to person. Yes, we must find community in actual people. But I love the community I find in the books I read. In the songs I listen to and in people I see on Spotify who are listening to similar things. My time with the Lord is communion, though it's just He and I, I am filled as I remember His love for me; as I let it seep into every crack in myself and every hope and dream.

When I come home having been extremely self absorbed and having manically managed every tiny thing so it won't be a nuisance, I feel frustrated and forlorn. But when I remember my small role in this giant world and my loving community, the pressure is off. We are all the same. Trying to get by, trying to live, trying to do something useful that makes us happy with our time.

So this morning I woke up at 7 and thought, "Do I really have to run this morning?" The answer is yes because running will give me more life than an hour extra sleep today. I run and receive life now to be happily tired later. I run and I pray while I run. I come back, make myself some tea, and read over breakfast. I remember the majesty and mystery of the world and realize I'm in it now so best to make it an awesome story for the day.