My Problem with the Strong, Independent Woman

Don't hear what I'm not saying: I'm not supporting patriarchy, I'm not going to talk about godly submission to husbands, and I'm not questioning women in the work force.

Don't hear the politics; hear God's gracious heart freeing you.

My understanding of what people mean when they talk about "strong, independent women" is a woman who takes full advantage of her earthly rights and lives and moves within them. She fights for women everywhere to have more rights by living her life well and she is confident in her missions.

My problem with this way of thought and life is that we actually don't have rights. Again, don't hear what I'm not saying: I'm not saying women still don't have rights even after fighting for them so we need to fight harder.

I am saying that the world doesn't owe us or guarantee us anything.

Not health.

Not comfort.

Not safety.

Not life.

Not voting.

Not equal pay.

Not equal opportunity.

I see exhausted women trying to be moms, have careers, and live within the rights and opportunities they believe are theirs for the taking. And I notice in myself that I don't want to be a part of bannering the strong, independent woman lifestyle because I don't want to live like I have something to prove.

I don't want to live like the world and its promises are my savior and all the world needs is a little bit of my participation to make it all turn out ok.

Ultimately, I want to turn the conversation away from rights and everything thats bundled into social justice and activism. I want conversations, ministries, and lives to be devoted to identities and helping people live solidly and confidently in who they are. I don't think this looks like fighting for people to have "the right" to be whatever identity they want to be. I think it looks like uncovering the identities all people have in Christ and battling against the lies that try to steal who we are.

We don't need room and rights to be who we are; we just need belief and bravery.

As long as we believe our identities are things that the world has power to take away from us, we will be stuck in the wrong fight. As long as we believe our identities can never be lost, only believed in or not believed in, we will always live in victory.

What would it look like if we lived in the identities Christ gave us instead of the false rights that the world talks about? What would it look like to build bravery and belief in who God calls us instead of fighting to get the world off our backs?

We will always feel oppressed and undervalued as long as we believe that the world has promised us rights and must deliver them. But, when we live in the identities that Christ has given us, we will live blessed, valued, and like life is a gift. If we trust that, despite the world, God is good to us and abundantly loves us then it really doesn't matter when the world fails us because God never fails. He doesn't even come close.

Living rightless means we aren't trusting or demanding the world to deliver. Rightlessness doesn't mean hopelessness. It doesn't mean we can never amount to anything or that others will trample all over us. Being hopeful and joyous and free and rightless is only possible because God is good, and He has promised us hopes and goodness from His hand. We can always have confident expectation in Him and His power and in the identities He has given us.

Living rightless means our reason for great expectations and hope is that our Abba is powerful and gives us His favor. He is the reason we are strong: because He calls us an heir to His power. He is the reason we can choose between motherhood, the career life, or some trendy combination of the two: because He has endowed us each with unique gifts that we love to express. He is the reason we can be secure: because He has loved us more fully than we could ever love ourselves.

Living rightless frees us from false expectations. None on us, none for us to put on others or anything else. Just because we can doesn't mean we have to and just because it hasn't been done before doesn't mean it has to stay that way.

Let's live and move within our identities; not our rights. Let's live and move within the dreams and abilities we have; not our pursuit of value. Let's live and move within our daughtership and heavenly inheritance; not our frantic sweat to earn it.

Remember that creation wasn't complete without you. Remember Adam was lonely without you. Remember that your very being ignites joy in your Father's heart. Remember that His love and attention for you completely eclipses what you feel you don't have now. Remember who you are and you will be free and find you are no longer a slave.

How precious are His thoughts about you, they are more vast than the sand on the seashore (from Psalm 139)