What They Never Taught Us About Job
If you know anything about Job, it's probably this: "Job is the Christian's model for how to endure suffering."
Job 1:22, "In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing."
The common lessons drawn from Job are how he submitted to the Lord's will, how he worshipped amidst intense pain, and how he clung to truth in the face of his unhelpful friends.
Yet, the deepest darkness that Job walked through is often glanced over. It's just too ugly, depressing, uncomfortable, and seemingly inconsistent with how we have always been admonished to handle suffering.
Verses like,
30:20-21, "I cry out to You, but You do not answer me; I stand up, and You regard me. But You have become cruel to me; with the strength of Your hand You oppose me."
and
29:3, 5a, "When His lamp shone upon my head, and when by His light I walked through darkness...when the Almighty was yet with me..."
and
30:25-27, "Have I not wept for him who was in trouble? Has not my soul grieved for the poor? But when I looked for good, evil came to me; and when I waited for light, then came darkness. My heart is in turmoil and cannot rest; days of affliction confront me."
do not fit the modern model of a holy sufferer.
What Job experienced, and what we still experience today, is believing that God isn't the God who He says He is.
Job believed that God was abusing him and opposing him. (30:20-21)
Job believed that God had walked away from him. (29:3, 5a)
Job believed that God wasn't following through with His promises as Job tried to live righteously. (30:25-27)
Job didn't just question God's character, he went a step further into believing that God was cruel.
How can letting those beliefs into our hearts be biblical? Hasn't our trust in what the Word says about the character of God just broken?
Haven't we just cracked the very foundation of our faith?
Yes.
And it's ok when we don't trust God enough.
We as Christians are so terrified of letting our faith slip that we label not having enough faith as a sin.
Because of this, we feel too shameful to admit when we are questioning or believing false things about who the Lord is although we've been told, "God is big enough to handle all your questions."
But is He big enough to handle our disbelief?
I've never been told that.
Another unfortunate consequence is we don't even know how to identify when we struggle with beliefs...because...that's just not allowed.
And at times when our faith is tested, little fruit is produced because we aren't willing to admit our faith has been shaken (or removed) and needs rebuilding.
It's ok when we don't trust God enough because He is bigger than what we don't believe about Him.
He can run so much faster towards us than we could ever run away from Him.
And He knows that in this world we will have trouble that can make us run.
Guys, life hurts. It hurts a lot. "Christian" words and phrases like, "struggling," "wrestling," "trial," and "times of testing" honestly don't encapsulate the level of pain humans can feel.
Sometimes, people don't struggle: they scratch their legs until physical pain distracts from the emotional and mental pain.
Sometimes, people don't wrestle: they are totally still as they hold a gun.
Sometimes, people don't walk through a trial: their personality breaks and friends see them during visiting hours.
Sometimes, people aren't enduring a time of testing: they're too tired to explain and give up on happiness.
When we read through Job, let's give the man some respect and see what he went through as a bit more than a "trial." And you're completely allowed to use stronger language for your own pain because God knows how messy sin can make things. But I digress...
The last time I read through Job, I noticed a certain freedom. But, not a freedom that comes from security in his beliefs, his beliefs were messed up for some of the time, but a freedom that comes from bravery, honesty, and humility amidst his intense pain.
First, Job had a courageous and humble honesty with himself.
Second, Job had a courageous and humble honesty with the Lord.
Job was brave and humble enough to let himself explore and understand exactly which beliefs had sunk. He accepted his disbelief as a reality then communicated that to the Lord.
He didn't pridefully pretend that his foundation hadn't cracked.
We can't recieve healing until we check the wound and tell the doctor about it.
So, what if our modern model of a holy sufferer became something different than what Job usually stands for? Something different than flawlessly staying afloat in our faith?
What if our modern model of a holy sufferer became approaching the throne of grace with boldness when we don't know what grace is anymore?
What if it became being humble and brave enough to admit, "Lord, I believe! Help my unbelief!"? (Mark 9:24)
What if a holy sufferer was a testament that no matter how weak our faith is, Christ isn't inhibited by what we don't believe about Him?
That He is infinitely able.
Infinitely able to rescue a drowned heart, a cut heart, and a poisoned heart whether we lay it at His feet or He has to chase us down for it.
I think Job knew, deep, deep down, that Christ is always able. And that is what spurred him to be free to fail in his faith.
And that Job was free to fail, is what they never taught us about Job.