When Girl Meets Definition
I’m back in Ohio and feel like I stick out like a sore thumb.
The Lord and how best to advance His glory fill my mind more than anything else.
Spending three hours in The Word, in prayer, in study, and in reflection seems almost too short.
Lies are more obvious, truth more attractive.
Those are just a few things that project ingrained in my heart and remind me that I’m a pilgrim in this world.
The last two weeks of project were the most growing and the most challenging.
As what I’ve learned has culminated and I’m shot into a needy world once more, it’s been a blessed time to actually see the fruits of my studies, work, and relationships.
It’s been amazing to experience life with a more consistent view of God’s love and goodness than what I had coming into project.
I’ve loved learning how to be a better friend and mentor and being able to practice that with every conversation.
My heart feels the conviction to make evangelism a normal part of my week while I’m back at college and spur my dear friends on to do the same.
Sure I have some regrets. I should’ve been more proactive about sharing the Gospel in my workplace. I should’ve plugged myself into a friend group instead of floating around between a couple separate people. I should’ve memorized more Scripture. I shouldn’t have let the stress of Women’s Conference get to me.
Yet these are only half regrets because regret is the sense of absence; of wasted time and opportunities. No sense of absence is wasted because God is sovereign and can make beautiful things out of nothing. Had I not felt the absence of goodness, I would not know how to move forward towards the beauty Christ has for me.
As I reflect on the surreal experience of Ocean City Summer Mission 2015… When Girl Meets the Gun Shot When Girl Meets High Exposure
When Girl Meets Throwbacks, Hauntings, and the Epic When Girl Meets a 12ft Giant, a Buddhist, and Donuts
When Girl Meets, the Sunrise, Sports Vomit, and the Darkest Pride
When Girl Meets Loneliness and a God She May Not Like When Girl Meets What God Actually Calls Her To Do
When Girl Meets Restlessness and Finitude
Cries of the Captivating
When Girl Meets What She’s Not
Overall, along with becoming more defined as a person, I have relearned three lessons that I will continue to learn for the rest of my life with a renewed impact every time:
1.Christ is worth too much for me to be fearful. I must be valiantly His.
2.I am loved too deeply for selfishness.
3.Accepting who I’m not gives me more freedom to step into who I am. From I’m not detailed, to I’m not junk and stepping into my gift for vision and identity as beloved.
Last Tuesday night (Project’s Date Night with Jesus), I watched the Passion of the Christ.
I went to bed early because I was so distraught.
As I cried and cried and prayed I felt embarrassed that I had seen God as so small and unloving in my past. I very much regretted giving these thoughts and feelings voice in my blog When Girl Meets a God She May Not Like…
What impacted me the most from The Passion was not the endless beatings or tender flashbacks from Jesus’ life, but how Mary constantly followed him on that horrific day.
Mary witnessed the torture of her son and could do nothing but follow.
Do nothing but follow.
Isn’t this our call? To follow Christ because our love for Him is as strong as a mother’s.
I cannot comprehend the depth of Christ’s love for me. But I can follow confident I am totally loved.
Lord, let this be the definition of my life.
A lover and follower of Jesus because I can do nothing else.
I praise You for a summer that has defined who I am and where I’m headed.
One that has left me with sharp memories both sorrowful and joyful.
A summer that has highlighted both my flaws and how God loves me regardless.
As with all dreams, there comes a time to wake up.
I will miss the ones who shared it with me sorely. But my eyes are ever more firmly fixed on The One who will never vanish with a dream.
